mirror- true thoughts

there's this question "When you look in the mirror are you happy with what you see?". I go back and forth between yes and no, but mainly it's a no. There's days where I just look in the mirror and smile. smile because I love where i'm at in life, whos in it, no problems just pure happiness. that's been fading away lately. Now a days I see some stranger, a mistake, a depressed/messed up kid. all I do is mess up, make a mistake and disappoint my parents. how can you be proud of yourself if your parents aren't of you; they don't trust you, they just see the constant mistakes you make? it's a struggle to put a smile on my face everyday, it just grows faker each time. I got passed my suicidal attempts, it's been awhile. Which I'm proud of but it's not enough. I constantly feel hurt lately. my hearts been broken so many times, i know that's my fault because I love and trust to easy. everyone's like high school relationships are pointless they just end up with hurt feelings. it is true in most cases but not in my parents. I see how happy they are and how much they love each other and us.they made it and are still going strong since highschool. it just makes me want have a Family and be happy like they are. so the realization that I screwed up and hurt them, hurts me so much. I just hope I'm not a reason why they wish try didn't have kids or that they made a mistake by having me.It hurts knowin my parents wanted to send me to military school and might change my school next year if I screw up again. it's a lot to handle, a lot of pain. I've made a lot mistakes in my life, dissapointed and hurt a lot of people. Honestly wish I could change what happened but I can't. I am so sorry for the people I hurt and dissapointed. I just wish someday I'll be able look in the mirror and think "Everything I've been threw was worth it, I love where I'm at an wouldn't change a thing."