Cnf; Memories is how we hold on!

You can’t forget him. He can forget you. John Hatfield’s greased up mechanic look from working, and had the personality of a crazy person.  You don’t walk by and glance, you walk by with your eyes glued on him unable to leave his sight.

            For fun he would give us nicknames from diseases. Elijah was E-coli. Ashley was Ash-tray. Desmin was Desitin. Javione was Jaundice. Lisa was Pissy Sissy. Carly was Cat-Balou, because he never figured out one for her.

            The first time having Mexican food at Carlos Murphy’s he crapped his pants while walking to the car. “No, I’m going to be blowing it up. I’ll wait till I get home,” refusing to go at Carlos Murphy’s. Minutes later... letting loose the wettest, most disgusting fart ever. To realize that it wasn’t just a fart that would be coming out of his butt hole. The brown, runny chunks of poop drained in the brown runny liquid sliding down his legs. Soaking his pants as it all flows to his ankles while he is doing the best he can to shake it out of his jeans. “Eww! You’re so gross. That is nasty.” his sister says laughing so much she almost peed her pants.

            Funny… He liked to catch people off guard by saying the unexpected. Loving… Adored his family to death, they were his everything, that’s mainly why he left. Un-modest… Sprinted around the apartment complex nude at night. Stupid… Grew pot, did drugs, smoked, etc. These are things his sister would explain John as to her kids and anyone who would ask about him. 

            The worst but most shocking surprise he would give the family would be in November 2003.  The chilly breeze through the slightly cracked windows makes that morning even more memorable. Pulling up into a mysteriously silent drive way to be told by the parents “go sit on the grass and wait till we come get you.”  Minutes that seem like hours go by. Joe Tanner’s slowed down, flushed out eyes as he walked to tell us the news. The news we would hope wasn’t true, that this was all a dream. “I’m so sorry, but John is never coming back.” Grabbing all of us for a big hug as all of us broke down in tears. Daddy’s Little Girl now dad less for life, uncle’s little niece no more with her favorite person for life, John’s wife now to be widowed for several years after that. “What, what happened” attempting to hold back the tears the best they could.  “He committed suicide, hung himself in the garage.” Walking away cause he can’t bear the sight of the kids and has to meet the coroner. No words or spoken only the sound of everyone crying.

            He had a wife, a wife who would eventually have enough. He had two kids, two kids who loved him to death and would grow up without him. He had a family, a family who would never stop loving him. He had a life, a life he would at the age 33. He was once with us, but will always in be in our hearts.